For too long manhood has been defined by the wrong things. The world defines manhood as rugged, athletic, outdoorsman, hunting, fishing, sports, cars, etc… That’s where you get all these idiotic sayings and slogans like “real men wear black” or “Real men carry guns” or “Real men urinate off the porch”. But just as dumb as it is for the world to tag manhood with a bunch of external junk, the church tends to do the same thing except we make our men pansies. We are to be meek, quiet, don’t stir the waters, don’t confront, keep the peace, don’t speak up.
It’s really no wonder that the smallest demographic for church attendance is 18-35 year old males. They are being confused by culture and not pursued by the church, because they may be a little too rough around the edges for our own comfort. Younger men, such as myself, live in a world that is constantly inundating them with the wrong ideas on manhood: ‘The more chicks the better’ ‘More money’ ‘More stuff’ ‘Better stuff’ ‘More fun’ ‘No responsibilities’. I know, I was one of them and battle it everyday still. So what you end up with is a bunch of over grown boys who don’t know how to commit or lead and a church that is impotent and lacking in solid biblical leadership. I’m not slamming every church, I love the church, I’m just playing the statistics. I’m also not slamming women nor am I a sexist. God has completely created men and women equal (Gen. 1:27, 31; Acts 2:17–18; 8:12; Gal. 3:28; 1 Pet. 3:7), but given us different roles ( 1 Cor. 11:3; Col. 3:18–19; Titus 2:5; 1 Pet. 3:1–7). I would not be the man I am if God had not sent my beautiful wife into my life! However, the Bible specifically states that the home and the church were designed to have male leadership or headship. Contrasting of men’s and women’s biblical roles is for another blog all together though.
It’s time for our young men to step up into the roles they have been called, lovingly leading their families and the church. Even as you read this some of you are thinking to yourself “That’s right, they need to do something”. But consider this, how are they to know what to do or how to do it? I’m still learning every day, but without a loving, supportive, patient, submissive wife, solid biblical teaching, and other men in my life that are willing to pour into me and call me out when I’m wrong… I’m just another overgrown boy.
Our older and or spiritually more mature men need to be doing more in an effort to reach out to a hurting generation of men who really do desire someone to show them what true manhood really is. Leadership is not rocket science, but it is work… Constant work! It’s not something we can fully grasp on our own either. We need each other! God help us as we try to become the men you have called us to be!