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For the past 5-6 years I have had the privilege of leading a men’s group that meets in our home. I love getting together with my brothers to encourage and pray for one another as we study God’s Word.  We cover a good bit of material and there is always great discussion and lots of really good questions. Sometimes it’s not until after our meeting that a helpful resource comes to mind.

Also, by God’s grace, I’m able to read, listen to, and explore lots of good content (books, audiobook, sermons, podcasts, articles, apps, etc.) throughout the week. I will be posting links to the ones that really stood out to me or seemed to be the most encouraging, interesting, or just plain fun!

Links & Resources

Creating Shade for your Children Part 1 and Part 2 by John MacArthur. Two good sermons on godly parenting in today’s culture.

Why We Take a Stand on Gender Roles by Tim Keller, D. A. Carson, and John Piper of The Gospel Coalition (podcast episode).

Male and Female He Created Them by Tim Keller, Kathy Keller, Kathleen Nielson, John Piper, and D. A. Carson (audio/video). A panel discussion from The Gospel Coalition’s 2014 Women’s conference.

Read Scripture Series by The Bible Project. A fantastic set of videos that help your kids (and you) understand the overview of books of the Bible. My family just found these and everyone loves them!

How to Know the Will of God by John Piper (sermon).

Honest Talk About Marriage by Matt and Lauren Chandler with Collin Hansen (podcast episode).

Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung (book).

Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney (book).

Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Work by Tim Keller (book).

You Need A Budget by YNAB (website/app). Personal budgeting software to help you get your family’s finances in order.

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Stockpile 1

For the past 5-6 years I have had the privilege of leading a men’s group that meets in our home. I love getting together with my brothers to encourage and pray for one another as we study God’s Word.  We cover a good bit of material and there is always great discussion and lots of really good questions. Sometimes it’s not until afterwards that some helpful information comes to mind.

I thought a regular blog post would be the perfect way to provide them and others with resources pertinent to our discussion and their questions. Also, by God’s grace, I’m able to read, listen to, and explore lots of good content (books, audiobook, sermons, podcasts, articles, apps, etc.) throughout the week. I will be posting links to the ones that really stood out to me or seemed to be the most encouraging, interesting, or just plain fun!

Links & Resources

Do More Better by Tim Challies (book) | Paperback | Audible | Kindle | Audio CD |  This is a great little book on being more productive. But he covers more than just a few tips and trick on how to get things done. I love it because he starts with a biblical theology of why it is important for Christians to be good stewards of their time. It’s all about doing more of the right things. He then moves on to practically helping you understand and set good goals, and put systems in place that will help you achieve those goals. He gives great software recommendations and how to setup and use them.

What Does It Mean for a Man to Lead His Family Spiritually? by John Piper (podcast episode). This is a great, short answer with a few practical applications.

Marriage, Christ, and Covenant: One Flesh for the Glory of God by John Piper (sermon series). I haven’t listened to every sermon in the series yet, but I love and trust this faithful, older brother. This particular message, Marriage: Forgiving and Forbearing, was very helpful for Pam and me.

The Role of Men by Matt Chandler (sermon series).

A Beautiful Design by Matt Chandler (sermon series). An extremely helpful, comprehensive sermon series on men, women, why and how we are different, marriage, roles in the church, etc.

How Do I Know God’s Calling for My Life? AND Strategies for When Life Seems Aimless (podcast episodes) by John Piper. I know there are a lot of Piper’s resources here this time, but he seemed to be talking, on his daily podcast, about some of the questions/prayer requests that came up in Men’s Group.

Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God’s Will by Kevin DeYoung (book) | Paperback | Kindle | Audible |

Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart: How to Know for Sure You Are Saved by J.D. Greear (book) | Hardcover | Kindle | Audible |

Gospel: Recovering the Power that Made Christianity Revolutionary by J.D.Greear (book) | Paperback | Kindle |

Pocket Casts is by far my favorite podcast app. I’ve tried a ton of them! This is one of those apps I use multiple times a day. It is well worth the few dollars you will have to pay up front.

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Nurturing Genuine Beauty in Your Wife

Men, how do you talk about your wife? Do you praise her? If so, in what ways? Do you criticize or belittle her? When the opportunity arises to say something (publicly) about your wife, what comes out of your mouth: words that oppress or applaud her? What adjectives roll off your tongue concerning the one with whom you are in covenant?

This should go without saying, but I won’t take anything for granted. Never, ever belittle your wife with your words, either to her face, to your friends, or in public! If you have an honest, loving critique that needs to be addressed in private, that is different. But never use your words to cut down God’s daughter whom He has entrusted to your care–to nurture and love as Christ loves His Bride–His Church.

Physical attraction matters in marriage, but there is something that matters infinitely more. Don’t just praise your wife’s outer beauty: “My smoking hot wife” “My super-sexy wife” etc. That’s great, to an extent, although most women would rather be “beautiful” than “hot”. What in your wife are you wanting to encourage and nurture? Outer beauty that will fade (just as yours will or already has)? Or a soul that is growing in Christ-likeness? Yes, she needs to hear from you that you think she is beautiful, but do your compliments only focus on the physical?

Praise her godly character (and her beauty) to her face, to your friends when she is not around, and in public when she is with you. So long as you both have a proper understanding of God’s grace in her life that empowers these qualities, your praise will edify her and not make her prideful. It helps her know you love her and care about more than just her body. In the Bible women are praised for their godly character. Their appearance may be recognized, but their integrity is what is praised.

My wife and I have an agreement. We never really sat down and made the deal, it has just happened and we share it with each other. She never criticizes me in a group setting when she is with other women, no matter how much of a jerk I might have been that day or how angry she may be with me. Same goes for me in my groups. We each have a very small, trusted group of people with whom we share our frustrations from time to time. We know they will not gossip and trust that they will pray for both of us. In our culture this for sure takes Spirit-empowered self control…and a good deal of practice!

Sir, your words matter! No more so than to the person who loves you most on this earth. Use them well. Life and death are in the power of the tongue.

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New Marriage & Parenting Resources Added

I really enjoy reading/listening to good advice that inspires and encourages me in my walk with Christ and as a husband and dad. Tim Challies is someone I read from time to time because I know I can trust his advice to be Bible centered and gospel focused. He is a pastor, blogger, author who has a firm grasp on God’s Word and good insight into our Western culture. Recently I found a few of his older articles that really convicted/encouraged me as a husband & father. I have added them to the “Articles & Links” section of the site and wanted to make you all aware of their addition. I believe you would benefit from browsing his website as well!

6 Deadly Enemies of Marriage – Tim Challies (Article)

6 Deadly Sex & the Mystery of Marriage – Tim Challies (Article)

The Picture Perfect Marriage – Tim Challies (Article Series)

18 Things I Will Not Regret Doing With My Kids – Tim Challies (Article)

The Porn Free Family – Tim Challies (Article)

Tim Challies | Blog | RSS | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads

Masculinity in Marriage

Biblical Masculinity In Marriage

This is the second post in the Biblical Masculinity series. Post One: What is Biblical Masculinity?, Post Three: Biblical Masculinity in Fatherhood Pt. 1Post Four: Biblical Masculinity in Fatherhood Pt. 2

This will only be a brief overview of our roles as men in marriage. It won’t be super-spiritual or deeply theological, although I believe marriage is deeply spiritual and theological at its foundation because it is a picture of God’s love for us. There are many wonderful books that cover this topic in greater detail that would be worth your time in reading. I have recommended a few HERE and you can see the full list HERE.

I will try to be a bit more practical in this study since most of us know or have an idea of what God expects from us in marriage. A lot of times, I believe, we just don’t know what we are doing or how we should go about it.

Marriage – We Are to Cultivate Our Wives

  • God said it was not good for man to be alone.
  • He created woman to help him in his cultivation and they were to work together as one.
  • God created marriage, man did not. Therefore He defines its boundaries and purposes.
  • God made man the head of the family, man did not. He gives us a picture of male headship all throughout the Bible.
  • Some who argue for Egalitarianism say that male headship or patriarchy came as a result of the Fall. Others argue that when Paul made his claims of male headship in the home and church those roles and positions were only binding on that specific culture and time period.
  • Paul actually destroys both arguments by taking the basis for his claims all the way back to the Creation story and order before the Fall. He therefore says that the way God set things up are binding on all peoples of all cultures and all time periods. – 1Cor. 11:8-9; 1 Tim. 2:12-13; Gen. 2
  • Woman was made for the man.
  • Woman was made after and from the man.
  • She was not made from the dirt like the rest of the animals, but from Adam’s side showing her equality with Adam in value and worth.
  • Equality is not the same as egality (See my previous post for the difference between egalitarianism & complementarianism).
  • Woman was brought to the man – as a father would give his daughter away in marriage.
  • Woman was named by the man.
  • Probably the most overlooked sign God gave us that points to male headship in the home is that after the Fall God goes looking for Adam and holds him responsible for his and Eve’s sin. Accountability and responsibility show headship. Read more
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    Helpful Books on Marriage

    *UPDATED* Below is a list of books on Christian marriage I have either read or gotten a strong referrals for from men I trust. They are taken from a larger list of “Recommended Reading” covering topics on marriage, parenting, manhood, doctrine/theology, and Christian living. Disclaimer: Just because I recommend a book for reading does not necessarily mean that I agree with every single premis or view the author takes up. My recommendation comes based on the fact that the helpful, Christ-centered views contained within the book outweigh any views I may personally disagree with.

    Please feel free to leave a comment suggesting books on the topic of marriage that will help others grow in their relationship with Christ and their spouse. Please list the title, author, and a few brief thoughts on how the book has helped you in your marriage.

    Cultivating a Healthy Marrige

    This is a message given at a marriage seminar at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York by Lead Pastor, Tim Keller and his wife, Kathy. They compare marriage to a garden that must constantly be tended to and looked after in order for it to be the beautiful, sanctifying relationship God intends for it to be. I love the way they tag team the message so as to hear both perspectives in the relationship. They both do such a good job of telling you what Scriptures say, what that means for us, and practical applications on how to flesh it all out in our own marriages. This message is well worth the hour or so of your time! This is such a good reminder that a great marriage doesn’t “just happen”! It must be cultivated!

    Click here for the message – “Cultivating a Healthy Marriage”.

    Click here for all Tim Keller messages on this site.

    Click here for all FREE Tim Keller messages from Redeemer Pres. Church.